6:14 p.m. - 2008-09-09
sometimes it's hard
I really love being a mom, most days it feels so natural and brings so much joy and rejoicing to my life. But yesterday it was hard.
I doubted everything about myself. I sobbed most of the day. Wondering how I could be so selfish and bring a perfect babe into my insane and far from perfect life. I quickly found myself comparing my choice to my parents and proclaiming myself an unfit mother. Why couldn't I wait until I could stay with him? How could I conviently overlook the fact that we aren't in the position for me to dedicate all my time to our family? It hurt and it is the closest I have been to depression. It truly hurt and I am still feeling it's remains. The only way to ease it??? Cuddly my sweet boy and swearing to be better...someday.
