7:05 a.m. - 2008-10-29
neglectful
I feel frustrated most days that I can't get everything done. The kitchen is usually stacked with dishes, the laundry piling up and invading the whole house. The poor dogs just lay around waiting and hoping for a leash to come out of the drawer. The bed is never made and shoes are all over the entryway. Garbage hasn't been taken out to the street in about a month and it's spilling out all over the garage.I haven't plucked my eyebrows in about a month. My clothes are never ironed and the makeup never comes out of the cabinet. It's silly but I judge myself worth on how well these things are done. I feel like I am not doing my duty most days.
I am tired, exhausted is probably a better word. By the time I make it home each day I truly feel like doing nothing else other than sitting or taking a bath. Today I have the task of grocery shopping and in my efforts to be thrifty... entails 3 different stores. I run around and the whole time I am thinking about Wyatt and whether he is being read to enough, is he getting enough tummy time, do I spend enough time playing and giggling with him? I usually conclude that I don't and it breaks my heart. I feel like there is so much riding on my shoulders and I am not carrying it well. By the end of the day I am frustrated and overwhelmed. Wade gets home late and I go to bed early, am I neglecting him too?
