7:09 a.m. - 2008-11-11
I have sisters
I have alot. 9, and there was a time that I didn't have a relationship with any of them ( unless you count terrorizing my little sis).I have 2 brothers that are just older than me and for most of my time at home it was just the 4 of us.
I look at my life in two parts. When I was 9 we moved, and that is were the 2 parts formed. I remember very little about my life in California. I mainly only remember my Elementary School, the Church building, and the Grocery store. Though if I were suddenly somewhere in the Bay area I wouldn't be able to find any of them. I can remember a few friends I had, one I still keep in touch with, but have never seen again since the move.
We arrived in Utah and very rural Utah to topped it off. It seemed like no one was happy with the move and a full house in Cali suddenly seemed very vacant as we lost siblings and gained bedrooms. For the first time I had my own room.
Of course I was always aware that I had sisters but they seemed so much older than me and never came around much after the move. I felt abandoned. They would all go out to Lunch for birthdays and such but being under 18 I wasn't invited. I became very bitter and when they would call or visit I would withdraw.
As I grew I started to understand that my parents are very hard to be around. You see my Parents always played the part of "Perfect Mormon Family" very well and so well, that I defended them and took on the act as well. It took a long time for me to see what was really going on. Lies. Lies to cover other lies. Lies were hiding under everything I had ever believed.
One by one, I let my sisters back in. I am still not done with the process. It has been long and I have done things that have caused hurt and slowed the process. How blessed I am that they let me back in too. They are a wealth of support and love and fill gaps in my wounded heart. I have a sister that lets me call her mom. I have one that is my best friend. I have another that is always teaching me. One that is the mother I want to be.
You know the saying. When God closes a door, he opens a window. Well, my sisters are my windows.
