10:50 a.m. - 2008-11-13
My birthday
It's coming up. Wade and I joke about pushing it back to April since our Fall schedule is booked up. His b-day, our anniversary, my b-day, thanksgiving, christmas... this time of year get expensive!
I told him not to plan anything for my Birthday. I didn't do a very good job with his Birthday, he wanted me to make a deal of it and I didn't. I don't want him to make a deal of mine and he is. Well, I think he is anyway. He hasn't said a thing about it which tells me he is hiding something. And when I asked about having cake and ice cream when his mom and Aunt come down tomorrow he acted like it was a silly request.
I get anxious at parties. Not other peoples parties, just mine or those in which I am hosting. I worry about who sits by who, and if *everyone* is happy and having a blast. Because if they aren't having a BLAST, they must be miserable...
You know what I want --really want for my birthday and I feel guilty just thinking this. I DO LOVE MY WYATT WITH ALL MY HEART AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. but I want a day with Wade that I don't have to worry about leaving my babe. but that won't happen because to be alone with Wade would mean Wyatt is with someone else and I can't bare him spending more time away then he already does. So I will settle for some cake (hopefully, of the carrot or cheese variety-- or even the costco chocolate kind) and be thankful that I have a husband that cares about me and my birthday enough to plan for it.
